Photo by me

CALM

A strange state for me

Driven through life as I have been

Days filled with doing things

To keep the multi faceted

Anxiety beast at bay

It’s not for lack of need

To do lists hang from every

Thought scurrying around

Behind my eyebrows

Nothing just comes with itself

But just now sitting here writing this

Feet in the sun cats lying about

In seeming disinterest with anything

Was this the goal and is there any value in it

Questions I always ask

The point all along without knowing it just

To sit without being bored

Stare at things without intent

Not even stare observe is more like it

If this lasts I’ll have to add

Some words to my vocabulary

Start using the urgent

Have tos to want tos

With should haves but didn’t

Or maybe even don’t have to dos at all

Wait shouldn’t something be happening

Have I forgotten a birthday or

An anniversary level thought

Appears and fades

Something is missing surely

It’s going to flash into existence

Again any second and drag me

Back into the morass of

Entanglements routines

Of doing and followups

A picket fence of tasks

Streaming by the car window

But it has not come

And I drift off again

Did I give up is that it

No too honest for that

I developed some good habits

To compensate after all

Well it’s all good for now

Strange though

Book series - Anxiety is not Depression ‘Bring Order to the Chaos’, ‘Daily Reader’, ‘Questions and Answers’. The view from the inside about these disorders.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Cliff Wise

Book series - Anxiety is not Depression ‘Bring Order to the Chaos’, ‘Daily Reader’, ‘Questions and Answers’. The view from the inside about these disorders.