Photo @shrashtipourRELUCTANCE

RELUCTANCE

The silent invisible hand

Pushing against my best intentions

What I feel to be right

Even my educated guess or

Carved in granite certitude

All of that on one side

And a feather on the other

And it wins time after time

I retreat into a gloom

Something about me

In particular a short coming

The way I have always been

I have to change that but when

Some other time and click

As the door of uncertainty

Closes on another whatever it is

When fear of criticism in my case

Something else in yours

Pulls me back into the past

Those shouting at the barricades

Have they just had enough

They seem to not even need a cause

They look misguided wrong even

But something drives them there

Out in the open even if still

Behind the wall of once useful goods

Burning tires wrecked park benches

Broken bikes cars and trash

They wave their signs and false flags at me

Surely they know I won’t resist

Or could it be a sense of freedom I can’t feel

To be one in many stepping forward

From the crowd of feathers and ideals

The only purpose of the shouting and stares

Not afraid of the chaos

I avoid at personal cost

I shiver at the prospect of difference

Cry myself to sleep

Book series - Anxiety is not Depression ‘Bring Order to the Chaos’, ‘Daily Reader’, ‘Questions and Answers’. The view from the inside about these disorders.

Book series - Anxiety is not Depression ‘Bring Order to the Chaos’, ‘Daily Reader’, ‘Questions and Answers’. The view from the inside about these disorders.